Seriously, not for children or sensitive readers.
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Hello, welcome to Writer to Writer Wednesday, we are so very glad to have you with us. The Hellfire Herald would like to extend a warm welcome to Jimmy James Pudge
How are you doing today?
I’m feeling good. Feeling smooth. Feeling sexy.
Keira: You have a story coming out soon though Amazon entitled Corn Bred. What is that about?
Joshua and his girlfriend Amanda have decided to move in together and live the dream. But Amanda’s been noticing some peculiar things about her boyfriend, like he disappears at night and wakes up naked in strange places throughout the apartment. And then there was that last time, when he woke up with blood on his hands. Determined to fix Joshua’s sleep walking, Amanda recommends a psychiatrist to him. Josh goes, wanting to get help. Little does the couple know, they’ve enraged a sadistic serial killer by the name of Corn Bred, a personality that coexists inside Joshua’s head. Corn Bred ain’t gonna let no one get rid of him. Determined to stop Josh from seeking help, he kidnaps Amanda and begins to play a sick game with Joshua. Now Josh is in a race against himself to save the girl he loves before it’s too late.
Keira: Where did the idea for your story
come from?
I’m a huge fan of Robert Louis Stevenson. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde inspired this story.
Keira: What is your preferred genre to write
in?
Horror, but I’ll do anything if it pays right. So far, I’ve made twenty
dollars on Amazon with my horror stuff, so I’m a happy trooper.
Keira: Are you with an Indy publisher, a
traditional house or self- published?
I’m self-published. I can’t take rejection, so I figure I have a better
chance of getting accepted if I go through me.
Keira: Please tell us about any future
projects you are planning.
Wow, that’s a long list. I’m writing the rough draft of a Science
Fiction novella called Providence
about a man who does some time travelling to save his wife, and I plan on
launching the horror novella Devil Inside
in December. The title of that one’s pretty self-explanatory. There will be
lots of gore. Down and Out, about
inmate Benjamin Franklin’s journey to infiltrate a cult upon his release from
prison, will be released in November . . . next year I hope to release The Dumby and Masters of the Trailer Park.
Keira: Are you currently running any
contests? What are they?
No, I’m not running contests, but if
anyone who reads this article wants to sample a Jimmy Pudge work, email me at jimmypudge@gmail.com within a week of
this article’s publication and put in the subject line, Teddy Bear, and I’ll
send you a free PDF of YO A$$ Is GRA$$.
Keira: How many books have
you written?
10 books, six have been released.
Two more should be released this year.
Keira: Do you work at job outside the home
or is this only career?
I do maintenance at a motel, painting and changing light bulbs and
patching up holes in the wall, shit like that.
Keira: Do you have a special writing method?
I like to write butt ass naked, and I make sure to have a full pack of
smokes and a box of Great Value Twinkies when I do write. I don’t have a word
count. I don’t try to reach a certain number of pages. I don’t try to write
every day. As long as I’m enjoying what I’m writing, I’m cool with where the
trip takes me.
Keira: We have a special place for
unpublished writers in our hearts, here at the Hellfire Herald. So what advice
would you give to an unpublished writer?
Don’t take
another writer’s advice seriously. If you want to try writing 10,000 words a
day and it works for you, go ahead and do it. But don’t try to be like another
writer. It’s all bullshit, man. Someone writing down something in a book to
make that quick buck by selling it to a chump like me back in the day. Write
what you want when you want and enjoy doing it. That’s really my only advice.
You will also get rejected a lot, but you need to start sending your stuff out.
Don’t worry about rejections. They’re red badges of courage. They’ll toughen
your ass up for the critics once you do start selling your works. Here’s the
truth, a lot of people are going to hate your work, but just say fuck it.
They’re assholes. You’ll find your audience eventually, and everything will be
like a Disney story, baby.
Let’s get personal…
Keira: Are you married?
No
Keira: Do you have
children?
Yes
Keira: What’s your
favorite thing to do?
Drink Natural light, smoke
cigarettes and watch television.
Keira: Are you a reader?
Yes, I enjoy reading many different
genres, including spicy hot romances.
Keira: Tell us something
special about you.
I can roll a cigarette in under two
seconds.
Keira: Can you tell us a
secret?
I once wrote a Romance novel.
Keira: Do you judge a book
by its cover?
Of course. The cover is the first
thing that attracts my attention. Put a half-naked woman on it and some
monsters and I’ll probably buy it.
Keira: What is your motto?
It’s better than being in prison.
Keira: What do you think
you will be doing five years from now?
Probably working at the motel.
Keira: What is your Ideal vacation spot?
There’s a lake where the chicks
sunbathe sometime. I like to go there at least once a week.
Keira: Scary Movies or
Happy Endings?
Scary movies usually have more babes
in their underwear running around, so I’m a go with Scary movies.
Keira: Can you share your
blurb with us?
I’ll share Bad Billy’s blurb with
you and offer one free e-copy of it to one lucky commenter.
You are free to offer a free
download of your book if you wish.
One lucky commenter will win a
free e-copy of Bad Billy or The Dick, his/her
choice.
Insert your blurb here please.
Bad Billy: Bad
Billy has spent his entire life in Mama's basement. When the chains break free
and he escapes into the world, he must learn the difference between being a
monster and a human being.
It's going to be a bloody education.
"Bad Billy, it's 'Of Mice and Men' meets the 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre.'"
--R. Scott McCoy, Publisher of "Necrotic Tissue Magazine," author of "Feast" and the "White Face Bear"
It's going to be a bloody education.
"Bad Billy, it's 'Of Mice and Men' meets the 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre.'"
--R. Scott McCoy, Publisher of "Necrotic Tissue Magazine," author of "Feast" and the "White Face Bear"
The Dick: Warning: This book contains strong Adult Content.
Ex porn star Jonny Sausage wants to be more than a cook at a fast food dive, so he obtains his P.I. certificate online.
It sounds exciting enough, being a private eye, but Jonny has no idea how crazy things are going to get once this gorgeous vampire dame by the name of Cristabel Swan enters his office.
Swan needs a ruthless investigator to find out why her family members are being murdered, and Jonny feels he's the right dick for the job.
Ex porn star Jonny Sausage wants to be more than a cook at a fast food dive, so he obtains his P.I. certificate online.
It sounds exciting enough, being a private eye, but Jonny has no idea how crazy things are going to get once this gorgeous vampire dame by the name of Cristabel Swan enters his office.
Swan needs a ruthless investigator to find out why her family members are being murdered, and Jonny feels he's the right dick for the job.
You can find Bad
Billy and The Dick at: http://www.amazon.com/Jimmy-Pudge/e/B008AEZW10/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1
Here’s a sneak peak at my newest
work, Corn Bred:
Chapter 4
1996, 10th
Grade
Joshua was in the restroom, sitting on the toilet, the stall
door locked, crying as several boys slapped on the door.
“Come on out, faggot!” Greg Robins shouted as he pounded on
the stall door. “Be a man and take your ass whipping.”
“Just leave me alone!” Joshua screamed.
The boys laughed.
“Pussy,” another one shouted. “Bring your little pussy ass
out here, bitch.”
Joshua sobbed. He could see them looking at him through the crack
in the stall, see their eyes. His hand clenched into fists, the knuckles
turning white. He wanted so bad to walk outside and tell them off. He was a
coward though, and he knew it. The fear inside of him had a paralyzing effect.
“What you doing in there?” someone asked, and Joshua looked
up, gasping as he saw Tom King’s head rise above the stall next to his. Tom was
standing on the toilet, peering down at him, a smirk on his face.
“Hey, he’s got his hand in his pants!” Tom said, howling
with laughter. “He’s playing with himself.”
“No I’m not!” Joshua said.
“Why don’t you come out and take your ass kicking like a
man?” Tom asked. “Quit being such a pussy.”
“Just leave me alone,” Joshua said, defeat in his tone.
Tom lifted a lighter, flicked it, producing a flame for
Joshua to look at. “If you don’t come out, I’m going to make you come out,” Tom
said. He lowered his head and reappeared seconds later with a wad of toilet
paper. He lit it on fire and tossed it at Joshua.
The paper hit him in the face, the heat singing as he flung
it off and stamped it out with his foot.
Everyone was laughing at him and shouting out rude names.
They had hated Joshua for years because he was poor and he was small. He was
the perfect victim.
Tom lit another wad of tissue and tossed it at him like a
grenade, this one hitting him on the chest. Joshua brushed it away, but not
before it burnt a hole in his shirt.
“We can do this all day, homo,” Tom said. “Get your little
ass out here, so we can give you your daily ass whipping.”
“Watch this,” another kid said from outside the stall. He
started pissing on the floor, the urine running into the stall. Joshua had to
lift his feet to keep his shoes from getting wet.
The bell rang.
Tom slapped the stall. “Saved by the bell, faggot,” he muttered.
Joshua leaned back on the toilet, trying to breathe normal
as he listened to the footsteps fade and the restroom door open and close. He
stood up and unlocked the stall door, walking outside into the empty room. He
studied the hole in his shirt. He only owned two and Mom didn’t have the money
to get him one this week. Joshua sighed and walked around the concrete corner
to where the door was.
Four of them were waiting on him around the corner, their
backs against the wall. Tom waved at him, and he turned to run, but they were
on top of him, pushing him to the floor. Fists pummeling his back. He looked up
and Tom kicked him in the face.
“Hey, pick that homo the fuck up,” Tom said. “Takes his
pants off.”
Joshua could feel himself being lifted off the floor, his
head hanging down, blood running from his mouth.
Someone grabbed his pants and pulled them down to his
ankles. He felt his shoes being pulled off his feet, and then his legs were
free of his pants.
“Get his shirt off too,” Tom said, pulling out a permanent
marker.
The boys were laughing, and Joshua was too scared to move.
He looked at Tom, and the boy looked back.
They ripped his shirt off and Tom wrote QUEER in huge
letters on Joshua’s chest.
“There,” he said, “the masterpiece is complete.” Tom punched
Joshua in the face, and the boy dropped to the ground in a fetal position.
“Let’s go to the lunchroom and get some pizza!” Tom shouted
to his friends.
They exited the restroom, and Joshua remained coiled on the
floor in nothing but a pair of underwear and socks. He sobbed uncontrollably
for about two minutes, visibly shaking on the tile, anger and humiliation
stabbing into his gut. The crying abruptly ended, and Joshua’s body stood up,
but Joshua was no longer in it.
The stranger leaned against the sink, read the word QUEER
written on his chest and laughed. Then he left the bathroom, walked down the
hallway to the cafeteria in nothing but the underwear, kids turning to stare at
him as he passed lockers.
He walked inside the cafeteria and they all turned their
heads, pointing and laughing. he liked that. He liked the laughter. It
justified his actions.
Walking from table to table, the stranger sought out the
boys who had humiliated Josh’s ass so bad. He personally didn’t give a shit
about Josh, but they shared the same body, so it was important to have his back
in times of crisis.
The stranger spotted Tom and his friends feeding their fat
faces with pizza and called out to them, waving.
The boys looked up, laughing, pointing their fingers,
talking about the ‘faggot’ in the whitey tighties.
The stranger grabbed a piece of cornbread off a girl’s tray
as he neared Tom.
“What the fuck do you want, homo?” Tom asked.
“I just want to see you die,” he replied casually, shoving
the cornbread down Tom’s throat.
The boy’s eyes widen, and he tried to fight the stranger
off, but he was too strong. He pushed Tom off his seat to the floor, his hand
over Tom’s mouth as the boy fought to free himself.
Tom’s pals, who had been rooted to their seats in shock,
suddenly sensed the urgency of the situation and bolted up, grabbing Joshua
off him, throwing him back against the
table.
The stranger grabbed a heavy, plastic lunch tray and swung
it, splattering the boy’s nose who tried to piss on Josh’s shoes.
They were punching him, but he couldn’t fell a fucking thing
and kept swinging that tray until they were on the floor or running, the floor
covered in blood.
“Joshua!” a teacher shouted.
“My name’s Corn Bred, motherfuckers!” the stranger shouted.
“Joshua ain’t here no more.”
Tom was leaning on the table, a professor performing the
Heimlich maneuver on him.
The adults were there now, taking the tray out of his hands,
dragging him out of the cafeteria to the principal’s office.
“What is wrong with you?” Mr. Dun shouted, his face filled
with bewilderment. “You could have killed those boys.”
Keira
Kroft
www.keirakroft.blogspot.com
In New Mexican and Mexican food, tamales are typically made with a corn masa dough and a filling of beans, meats, corn, or chiles and cooked over an open fire. Today, these little packages of perfection are simply steamed in their corn husk wrapper. The wrappings provide a portable device for the filling and add a little flavor. Tamales can be considered the Mexican version of a sandwich and are open to many interpretations.
Hint: When you talk about tamales, the plural of the word is, of course, "tamales." But a single one isn't a tamale, it's a tamal! If you want to show off a bit of your knowledge of Mexican culture, it's good to use the right --and rarely used-- word for a single tamal!
These is an authentic Mexican tamale recipe at its most authentic! This red chile pork filling is what tamales are all about... it's rich, it's flavorful, it's tender, it's spicy... it's heaven.
Enchiladas are usually made by wrapping a corn tortilla around a savory filling and covering it with a spicy sauce. But this version is sweet! When making this Mexican desserts recipe, you use a sweet for a filling, and your "enchilada sauce" might be a simple chocolate sauce with whipped cream. Or a caramel sauce. Either way, it's heaven.
